Beautiful are the flowers of a tree

planted in tears

It shall flourish in quietness

It´s fruits shall be

full of love

It´s fragrance shall

bring hope

And the light of His Name

shall shine upon her

forever

i den stille vinden

Naken sitter hun i strandkanten hvor hun har sittet så mange ganger før. Naken og ekte og sårbar. Men det er annerledes denne gangen. Hun sitter fremdeles å venter. Venter på svar. Venter på å forstå. Venter på Han. Men denne gangen ligger hun seg ikke ned for å sove, holder rundt seg selv og gråter. Tårene renner enda, men øynene er åpne og på utkikk og hendene er rettet oppover i stille tilbedelse til Han som er god selv om hun ikke kan se Ham. Hun holder ikke lenger fast til seg selv, men hun gir slipp for å gripe Han. Hans navn er Håp. Den såre gråten som var så vond og smertefull er byttet ut med tårer fra livets kilde, levende vann til legedom og renselse. Hun har ikke flere ord. Hun bare sitter der og er til og elsker Han tilbake i sitt hjerte. Sakte men voldsomt rives festningsverkene den onde har fått bygge i hennes sinn. De er store, kraftige vegger av løgner fra helvete, men ikke større enn Han som er i himmelen. De bærer navnene angst, motløshet, frykt, sjalusi, selvforakt, svakhet og sykdom. Men en etter en må de bøye kne for Han som bærer navnet over alle navn. Og det ene navnet som rommer fylden av himmelens og jordens skaper reiser seg opp i henne og fyller henne fullstendig. Det er begynnelsen på en ny tid. Ørkenvandringen er over for denne gang og solen begynner å stige i horisonten. Den farger himmelen rosa og lilla og rød mens den strekker sine tynne stråler ned til henne og varmer den tynne kroppen med seg selv.

Nå begynner hun å se skattene hun fant i mørket. Hun snur seg og får øye på mannaen og vannkildene som holdt henne i live gjennom dødens landskap. Hun ser ørnene som bar henne på sine sterke vinger over de veldige tornebuskene. Hun ser menneskene hun ikke kjente som Han sendte til å vandre sammen med henne, og støtte henne opp de bratte klippene. Hun ser Lammet som ofret seg selv i løvens gap så hun ikke behøvde å frykte. Hun ser kjærligheten som har etterjaget henne og grepet hennes hjerte. Hun overveldes av Hans nåde. Og på ny overgir hun seg selv til å bli grunnfestet og gjort fullkommen i kjærligheten som driver frykten ut så hun aldri i evighet skal skjelve av redsel, men stå oppreist som palmetreet, trygg og tilfreds, full av nåde og sannhet slik som Han.

Hun ser enda ikke løftenes oppfyllelse. Det er fremdeles bare ord om framtida uten ansikt. Men hun vil ikke nok en gang slite seg ut i det hun prøver å oppfylle Hans løfter på egenhånd. Det ender bare med utmattelse og knuste hjerter og enda mer ventetid. Nei, denne gangen vil hun bare sitte der i stillhet og vente på at Han skal gjøre det – i Sin tid, i rett tid. Det kan storme rundt henne, det kan brake og blåse og snø og hagle kalde, harde, vonde ting mot hennes nakenhet. Men det skal ikke få ta hennes oppmerksomhet. Hun har blikket festet på Håpet, og hjertet hennes er fylt av fred og forventning. Hun vet at Han vil gjøre det. Hun vet at når stormen har rast forbi, når regnet har sluttet å piske henne i ryggen og havets voldsomme dønninger har lagt seg til ro – da vil Han komme i den stille vinden og hviske til hennes hjerte ”du er mitt barn, og Jeg elsker deg”. Da vil alle sårene gro, all smerte falle bort, all sønderbrutthet bli gjort hel. Da vil hun ta Han i hånden og reise seg i Hans kraft, og gå på vannet sammen med Ham.

Fremdeles sitter hun i strandkanten og venter. Frøene er sådd, men blomstene har ikke begynt å blomstre enda. Følelsene hennes skriker og sparker i desperasjon, tankene kjører berg og dalbane i toppfart. Men hun har valgt å hvile i Håpet. Hun har valgt å stole på Hans hjerte selv når hun ikke ser Hans hånd. Hun har bestemt seg for å vente på den stille vinden – hun vet at den kommer, for Han er alltid trofast.

the river from His heart

there is a river. flowing from the depths of His heart. streams of love. and compassion. a mighty river. full of grace and life in abundance. a powerful river that flows wherever He wants it to flow. a river of no limitations. those who are planted by the river are being transformed from the inside out. freedom. peace. joy. are some of the fruits that grows by the riverside. but it doesn't happen by chance. you have to choose. to let your roots grow deep close to the river of Him. who chose you first. then He will pour out on you faith. to believe that all things are possible through Him. hope. to stretch forward and grasp the blessings that is already yours in Him. and greatest of all. love. so overwhelming that all you can do is just sit down in awe and adoration to Him who gave His life for you when you turned your back against Him. because He loves you. unconditionally. a love so powerful that it turnes your world up side down. a love that is able to heal every wound and brokenheartedness. a love that enables you to forgive and loose the chains that holds you down. a love strong enough to trust His heart even when you can't see His hands. a love so intense. yet so meek. and at last. all that you desire is to love Him back by loving others as He loves you.

spring time has come...

a new season has arrived. she embraces it joyfully. welcome
new hope. new peace. a new start
a new beginning on something new. expectations. a child's mind
a new chance. new freedom
new Love. more love. deeper love
new relations

it is time for the sun to rise higher on the sky
coldness disappears
snow melts, and all that was hidden underneath appears again. a touch of warm sun beams makes colors out of dirt. colors that live and grow and dance and smell like heaven
ice melts and she can swim in living water

a new time for old jogging shoes. mountains call her name
she is ready to go higher
she is ready to run and dance and be free. she is ready to stand on that mountain top and feel the strong wind trying to lift her up and throw her off the mountain while she is still standing there, confident, as she watches a new sun rise over her home

new revelation
a new song in her heart
a new melody in her spirit. creation is singing together with her
it is time for new life. a time for planting
she never doubt that a tiny little brown seed can become the most beautiful flower ever seen, or give the most delicious fruit ever tasted
mysterious are His ways
that's what makes Him so wonderful

here she is. standing in the middle of it all. with Him who has always been
present
in His presence
like a flower that presses its head above the suface and realizes that it wasn't created to live deep down in the dark, cold soil. but to lift its head above the surface and breathe and live and rejoice and be free and reflect some of the beauty of its creator

spring time has come

.

Barefoot with Him forever

Naked and vulnerable, surrounded by expectations she cannot satisfy. Expectations of what she should do, who she should be, where she should go. Can't they see that she already is? Feeling miserable, but victorious. Feeling week, but strong. Can't they see that she is standing? Snow falls from heaven, makes everything look white and pure and light and easy. How can something so completely dark and lifeless become so amazingly wonderful? Because of Him. That's just how He is.

The sun kisses a wounded earth. She stretches her thin beams of light down and touches everything that is good and painful, makes it shine. Dark and cold have to flee when touched by the light that can't keep itself from transforming dead winter- landscapes into shining pearls that softens the hearts of everyone that sees the little wonder that surrounds them completely. All things she has seen makes her believe Him for all that she hasn't yet seen.

Soon she will take off her shoes and walk barefoot on the shore. The sharp stones will cut through her soft skin and make her bleed. Huge waves will crush towards her nakedness and wash away some of the pain she is carrying in her heart, so that she can be able to love more. She will follow the footsteps in the sand until the sun puts heaven and ocean on fire. Then she will sit down with her nakedness in the shallow water and listen to the wind that sings with the waves and makes miracle- music that gently covers her soul. She will close her eyes while her heart looks right into His face. All the things that kept Him on a distance is left behid, finally she can touch. Only a glimpse of His eyes will heal her wounds, and she will continue walking barefoot with Him forever...

Sometimes...

sometimes we have to fall to know why we should stand
sometimes we need to bow to be able to rise
sometimes we have to be wounded to receive healing
sometimes we must go away, so we can come home
sometimes we have to get lost so that we can be found
sometimes we need to die, so we can know how to live
sometimes we have to listen to be able to speak
sometimes we have to be hurt to be able to love
sometimes we need to be lonely so we can value true friendship
sometimes we have to be apart to know why we should stay together
sometimes we must be hungry, so we can be filled
sometimes we have to feel war to know what peace is
sometimes we must be a prisoner, so we can be free
sometimes we have to experience what is wrong, to know what is righteousness
sometimes we have to discover the small things to understand that there is something bigger
sometimes we need to see, so that we can know
and sometimes, we have to believe

Lifes journey

Life is a journey. full of surprises, good and bad. full of possibilities to both good and evil. I am a creation. among many others. created with the opportunity to have a close relationship with my creator. which created me unique and totally different from all others.
life is a journey between heaven and earth. some times more heaven. some times more earth. some times up high. some times down low. some days light. other days darkness. a journey full of contradictions. freezing coldness and intense heat. mighty mountains and fearful valleys. lifeless desert and enormous waterfalls in evergreen rainforests. The diversity of the nature draws a picture of the diversity of life, and the many different seasons that appears. some more challenging and intense than others. but all important to live through, to be able to travel further on life's journey.

The Amazon.. what can I say? WOW. being on a boat for 5days down the amazon river. sleeping in a hammock. watching a red sun going down over the wild jungle while dolphins jumps around the boat. being invited home to a family, staying there without knowing a word in Portuguese, and they not a word in English. eating whatever I get no matter colour or shape. travelling around in Brazil. what a huge country. so diverse. ending up at the coast. big cities. favellas. long beaches. enormous waves.
The more I travel, the more I realize that the most beautiful created is love. and the most important thing in life is to have good and loving relationships with God and each other. I came to point in my travel where I had to choose to either learn the language completely, try to understand every aspect of the culture, and make a difference by creating close relationship with suffering people around me, or I had to go home, to be close to family and friends that loves me. I chose to go home, and being the christmas gift for my mother! so here I am.. cold, snowy, beautiful Norway. so different. another world?!
The journey didn't finished, it just chose another direction. thank you all for praying for me. and I hope you will continue to pray. God has done great things in me, for me and through me, and He'll continue to do no matter where I am.

So many things have I seen, and yet so little. so many things have I experienced, but yet so few. so many people have I met, so many stories have I heard, and I realize how little I know about life. I have never been so hungry that I went through the garbage bags in the street to look for something to eat. but I know quite a few that does it every day. it is not numbers. it is people with names. I want to wish you, and all the children, the old and the cripples in the streets of Brazil a Merry Christmas. I love you all. God loves you more, He sent Jesus. Thank You Father